He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
