What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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