all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
