Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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