your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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