well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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