i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
