I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You made out with two different species that night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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