do herpes really smell.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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