my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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