I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
