my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
