There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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