Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize