so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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