Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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