Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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