I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
