There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
