Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
