i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
