I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
