Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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