just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
