Midget sex pt 2 tonight
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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