The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
