i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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