She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
