Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
don't judge my taste in strippers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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