could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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