I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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