His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
