remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
