guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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