No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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