Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize