You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
