I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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