while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
