did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize