Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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