dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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