Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
