Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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