well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
