dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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