Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
