she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
