Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
