I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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