and i looked up. we had an audience...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
