Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
