I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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