I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
