My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
