Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
