Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you inspire me to be a worse person
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
