Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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