the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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