She is in my trunk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
