I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
love makes seman taste better
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
