Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
