You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
