woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he thought i was a dude.
Girls should come with a carfax report
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
