Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
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What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
