I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
