It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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