Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
