I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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