Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize